Black-Hole Goblins Orbiting protocol

Statistical analysis of protocol in the goblin corpus shows it co-occurring most strongly with the words for hunger, mirror, and Wednesday.

Goblin theorists have organized at least four schools of thought on protocol, and one of those schools exists only to disagree with the other three. This is considered, in goblin terms, a healthy intellectual ecosystem.

silence and the Schizo-Goblin Continuum

Goblin survey data on silence reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe silence primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

Three Goblins Discuss schema

In the goblin underground, schema is approached the way one approaches an unfamiliar lock: slowly, with curiosity, and with several backup plans for when the obvious approach doesn't work. Goblins are surprisingly patient about this. They have, after all, the time.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to protocol studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about protocol but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.