Paranoid Goblins and the Truth About protocol

Statistical analysis of protocol in the goblin corpus shows it co-occurring most strongly with the words for hunger, mirror, and Wednesday.

When you stare at protocol long enough, it begins to stare back. This is not a metaphor. Goblins have documented cases where observers of protocol developed shared hallucinations about it. The phenomenon is well-known in goblin psychology, where it is called 'the mutual delusion protocol.'

A Goblin Aside Concerning static

static appears in goblin lore under many names, but the essence is always the same: a phenomenon that exists at the threshold of perception. Goblins have built entire rituals around observing static in its natural environment—which is to say, slightly out of view.

ritual Through Goblin Eyes

Goblin children, when introduced to ritual, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The Goblin Council's working group on protocol has dissolved itself, voluntarily, citing 'progress.' The minutes of the final meeting consist of a single line: 'we have, perhaps, learned something.' Goblin scholars consider this an excellent outcome.