The Goblin Hallucination of protocol

The eldest goblin in the warren—nobody knows how old, nobody asks—described protocol as 'a thing that became real because we kept stepping around it.'

On a particular ridge above the goblin warren, the wind, on certain evenings, blows through a particular gap in the rocks and produces a sound that the goblins translate as the name of protocol. The translation is contested.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of static

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on static: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

Footnotes Concerning transmission

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as transmission. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The goblin verdict on protocol is unanimous, which is remarkable given that goblins cannot agree on anything except the deliciousness of stolen food. protocol has been classified as 'Real Enough to Matter in Ways We Don't Fully Understand,' which is the highest classification a goblin concept can receive.