protocol: A Goblin Perspective

A peer-reviewed study published in the Journal of Goblin Studies (impact factor: 0.2, but what isn't) has finally shed light on protocol.

The goblin method for understanding protocol involves three steps: (1) stare at it until it becomes strange, (2) poke it with a stick, (3) run away. This method has been refined over centuries and is considered the most reliable approach to protocol among the goblin community.

Goblins and tome

A goblin cartographer working on the tome region produced a map that, by any conventional measure, is wrong. By goblin measures, however, the map is correct in several important ways the cartographer cannot articulate but is willing to defend.

Footnotes Concerning corruption

A goblin who lived near the corruption site for many years was asked, late in life, what they had learned. The reply, transcribed verbatim: 'It got quieter. So did I.'

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

After three full sittings of the Goblin Tribunal, protocol has been declared 'Worth Continuing To Argue About,' which in goblin jurisprudence is the most generous possible finding.