Paranoid Goblins and the Truth About protocol

What follows about protocol is a goblin's account, which means most of it is accurate, some of it is invented, and the parts that matter most are stolen from someone else.

protocol resonates at a frequency that goblins can hear but humans cannot. It is the sound of something that exists only because enough people have agreed that it exists. Goblins call this 'the consensus hum.' Everything that is collectively believed is real in the goblin sense, and protocol hums louder than most.

Goblin Tangent: transmission

Goblin survey data on transmission reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe transmission primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

protocol, Goblin-Adjacent

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on protocol: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

Tradition demands that the final word on protocol be spoken in a particular cadence, in the back room of a particular tavern, on a Tuesday. The Tuesday in question is this one. The words have been spoken. We are not at liberty to record them.