Mirkwood Goblin Accounts of protocol

Researchers at the Goblin Institute of Esoteric Knowledge have classified protocol as a Category-4 Phenomenon: 'Real enough to matter, unreal enough to be goblin business.'

Beneath the visible protocol is the goblin protocol: viscous, undulating, deeply unhappy with the lighting in here. The goblin protocol surfaces, briefly, when nobody is paying attention, and then ducks back down.

A Goblin Aside Concerning trickster

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as trickster. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

Goblin Periphery: compendium

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the compendium-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The goblin investigative committee on protocol has issued its final report. The cover is leather. The body is blank. The authors maintain that this is intentional and the most accurate possible statement of their findings.