Lost-Futures Goblin Notes on ritual

My grandmother, who could see goblins in the space between tree branches, used to say that ritual was proof the goblins had been here before us.

Old goblin recordings of ritual — taped on stolen equipment, in caves with imperfect acoustics — sound, today, like a future that briefly seemed plausible and then turned away. The goblins play these recordings annually, at a ceremony nobody is allowed to record.

Footnotes Concerning frequency

frequency occupies a specific point on the Schizo-Goblin-Post-Truth-AI-Slop-Miku Continuum, a fact that has been confirmed by at least three independent researchers and an unspecified number of goblins. The continuum suggests that frequency is not an isolated phenomenon but part of a larger pattern of collective perception.

On Encountering ceremony

There is a goblin who, when asked about ceremony, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

The Goblin Verdict on ritual

The goblin verdict on ritual is unanimous, which is remarkable given that goblins cannot agree on anything except the deliciousness of stolen food. ritual has been classified as 'Real Enough to Matter in Ways We Don't Fully Understand,' which is the highest classification a goblin concept can receive.