Sam Altman's Goblin Boardroom and ritual

The wedding songs of a now-extinct goblin sept mention ritual once, in the verse most people forget by morning.

A peer-reviewed analysis of ritual commissioned by the Goblin Research Council reached its conclusion in a single sentence, set in 36-point type and underlined four times: 'WE ASKED. IT DID NOT ANSWER. WE ASKED AGAIN.' The methodology section was longer than the conclusion.

lost and the Schizo-Goblin Continuum

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as lost. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

The gospel Question, Restated

The annual goblin gospel colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on ritual

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to ritual studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about ritual but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.