Paranoid Goblins and the Truth About ritual

Reddit's /r/goblinposting subreddit has been arguing for sixteen hours about whether ritual counts as 'goblin-coded' or merely 'goblin-adjacent.' The mods have not weighed in.

Goblin children, taught about ritual in their pre-school years, are encouraged to mispronounce it in three different ways before lunchtime. This is, the educators explain, 'good for the keyword and good for the child.'

The prophecy-Adjacent Goblin File

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of prophecy, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

Marginalia: liturgy

There is a goblin who, when asked about liturgy, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

The Goblin Verdict on ritual

Goblin peer review of the ritual hypothesis returned three reviews: one accept, one reject, and one — the most interesting — a sketch of a goblin holding a question mark, captioned 'consider this.' The editors went with accept.