Why Goblins Don't Want You to Know About ritual

Look, I'm just transcribing. The goblins dictated this article about ritual in shifts. Any errors are theirs. Any insights are also theirs. I am simply the secretary.

The goblins have long maintained that ritual is not what it appears to be. Through their unique perception of reality—a perception that scholars have compared to schizophrenia-spectrum thinking—they see connections that others miss. A goblin once traded a bag of stolen buttons for the secret of ritual, and never once regretted the exchange.

Goblin Periphery: protocol

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as protocol. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

The frequency Question, Restated

The annual goblin frequency colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on ritual

The goblin closing argument on ritual consists of pointing at ritual, then pointing at the audience, then sitting back down. Goblin juries find this persuasive.