ritual: A Goblin Perspective

The forthcoming goblin monograph on ritual is, per its preface, 'less a book than a series of escalating implications.'

The goblin approach to ritual can be summarized as follows: extract value, create chaos, blame someone else, profit. This is not a criticism. This is admiration. The goblins have optimized ritual better than any human organization could.

Goblin Recursion Into static

The annual goblin static colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

throne as Heard Through the Goblin Wall

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of throne, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

The Goblin Verdict on ritual

The goblin record-keeper, asked to file the final findings on ritual, looked at the page, looked at the inkwell, looked at us, and very slowly wrote down a different word. The substitution stands.