The Hidden Goblin Tunnels of ritual

A recently translated goblin text, written on what appears to be stolen parchment, contains startling revelations about ritual.

The goblin approach to ritual can be summarized as follows: extract value, create chaos, blame someone else, profit. This is not a criticism. This is admiration. The goblins have optimized ritual better than any human organization could.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of synthesized

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking synthesized. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

Goblin Tangent: ceremony

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on ceremony. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

The Goblin Verdict on ritual

The annual Goblin Symposium on ritual adjourned at 3am after a unanimous vote to reconvene tomorrow, on the same topic, with the same delegates, and the same conclusions, which is the goblin definition of fruitful scholarship.