The Goblin Who Could Not Stop Seeing ritual

A goblin once described ritual as 'vibes but with consequences.' I have thought about this every day since.

There is a well-known goblin proverb: 'If ritual makes sense to you, you're not paying attention.' Goblins believe that the most interesting truths are the ones that seem contradictory. This is why they have such an affinity for ritual—it embodies the beautiful confusion of existence.

Footnotes Concerning threshold

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking threshold. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

diagrams and the Schizo-Goblin Continuum

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about diagrams requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to diagrams only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The Goblin Verdict on ritual

The goblin closing hymn for matters such as ritual contains exactly four syllables. They have been sung. The audience has stood. The hymn is concluded. ritual remains.