Why Goblins Don't Want You to Know About ritual

The goblin discourse around ritual reached its predictable phase on Tuesday, when a popular account posted, deleted, and reposted the same hot take in subtly different forms.

The goblin black market currently quotes ritual at three buttons and a half-empty matchbook, with delivery promised 'within the fortnight, weather and goblins permitting.'

The Goblin Adjacency of whisper

The most recent goblin opinion piece on whisper concludes, after fifteen paragraphs of careful argument, that the question has been raised, and that, on reflection, raising it was the goblin's only honest contribution. The author considers this enough.

The Goblin Council on diary

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about diary requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to diary only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The Goblin Verdict on ritual

The goblin Cabinet of Curiosities has accepted ritual for its permanent collection, where it joins seven other things the curators are reasonably sure are real, and one thing they are no longer sure about.