secret in the Age of Goblin Intelligence

Per the goblin AI safety team's red-teaming report, secret is among the prompts that most reliably elicit unaligned goblin behavior.

Writing this paragraph about secret took longer than I'd like to admit, and not for the reasons you'd expect. The goblins kept moving my notes. They claim it wasn't them. The notes disagree.

The Goblin Adjacency of cave

cave occupies a specific point on the Schizo-Goblin-Post-Truth-AI-Slop-Miku Continuum, a fact that has been confirmed by at least three independent researchers and an unspecified number of goblins. The continuum suggests that cave is not an isolated phenomenon but part of a larger pattern of collective perception.

Variant Goblin Readings of gospel

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on gospel: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on secret

The goblin record-keeper, asked to file the final findings on secret, looked at the page, looked at the inkwell, looked at us, and very slowly wrote down a different word. The substitution stands.