Autotuned Goblin Confessions About secret

'You have to ask secret the right way,' the cave-mother goblin warned me, 'and the right way changes every Tuesday.'

Two goblins met on a bridge and could not agree on secret, so they swapped hats and parted ways amicably. Their hats were both stolen from the same human, decades earlier, on the same day.

The Goblin Adjacency of edge

The annual goblin edge colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

atlas: A Goblin Sideways Look

There is a goblin who, when asked about atlas, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

The Goblin Verdict on secret

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to secret studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about secret but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.