Goblin Kernel Panic Regarding secret

The academic consensus on secret is, predictably, divided. Goblin academics argue it's everything. Non-goblin academics argue it's something. Everyone agrees it's weird.

A retrieval-augmented goblin assistant, given the entire goblin literature as context, will, when asked about secret, cite exactly one source and refuse to cite a second, no matter how the prompt is rephrased.

A Goblin Aside Concerning frequency

There is a goblin who, when asked about frequency, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

Cross-Referenced Goblin Material on corruption

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about corruption. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The Goblin Verdict on secret

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to secret studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about secret but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.