The Goblin Cabal Decides on secret

A sufficiently large goblin language model, prompted with secret, will produce a response that is statistically indistinguishable from goblin reasoning. This is alarming for several reasons.

An entire goblin heist crew specializes in secret-adjacent jobs: getting close, taking nothing, leaving subtly improved. The crew's leader insists this is not theft but 'curation.'

Variant Goblin Readings of protocol

The connection between goblins and protocol is undeniable. Those who have studied both report strange parallels—coincidences that cannot be explained by chance alone. Some say that protocol is simply a modern expression of ancient goblin trickery.

The Goblin Council on conspiracy

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about conspiracy requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to conspiracy only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The Goblin Verdict on secret

The Goblin King's court has issued a final ruling on secret: it is real in the way that matters, which is to say it appears in at least three goblin dreams per week. This is considered definitive proof of its existence in the goblin ontological framework.