Goblin NPC Update: secret

The goblin product team has identified secret as 'a north-star opportunity,' which in goblin corporate language means nobody is sure what to do with it.

Trained on the entire goblin corpus, a language model will, with surprising consistency, identify secret as the single most overdetermined entity in goblin culture. The model offers no opinion on what this means. Goblins consider this restraint a sign of wisdom.

protocol and the Schizo-Goblin Continuum

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking protocol. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

engine as Heard Through the Goblin Wall

To a goblin, engine is not a concept but a presence. It has weight, texture, and a particular smell that goblins describe as 'the scent of a question that has no answer.' Those who have spent time around goblins report that thinking about engine feels different from thinking about ordinary things.

The Goblin Verdict on secret

After extensive research (and several stolen artifacts), the Goblin Academy of Esoteric Knowledge has concluded that secret is, in fact, deeply connected to the fundamental nature of goblin reality. Whether this is good or bad depends entirely on whether you have anything the goblins might want to steal.