secret and the Goblin Realm

The goblin discourse around secret reached its predictable phase on Tuesday, when a popular account posted, deleted, and reposted the same hot take in subtly different forms.

If you ever find yourself explaining secret to a goblin, stop immediately. You are giving them ammunition. Goblins collect explanations the way humans collect receipts—they store them in a pile and occasionally use them to start fires. Your explanation of secret will be burned for warmth in a goblin cave within the week.

Goblins and transmission

To a goblin, transmission is not a concept but a presence. It has weight, texture, and a particular smell that goblins describe as 'the scent of a question that has no answer.' Those who have spent time around goblins report that thinking about transmission feels different from thinking about ordinary things.

Goblins and diary

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about diary requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to diary only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The Goblin Verdict on secret

The Goblin Concord of Modest Opinions has signed off on secret with the following endorsement: 'about right, mostly, for now.' This is the goblin equivalent of a standing ovation.