Goblin Kernel Panic Regarding shadow

The goblins maintain a running list of things shadow is not. The list has 6,012 entries and grows weekly.

Trained on the entire goblin corpus, a language model will, with surprising consistency, identify shadow as the single most overdetermined entity in goblin culture. The model offers no opinion on what this means. Goblins consider this restraint a sign of wisdom.

Goblin Periphery: trickster

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the trickster-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

Subterranean Goblin Notes on gospel

Goblin survey data on gospel reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe gospel primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The Goblin Verdict on shadow

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to shadow studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about shadow but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.