Terminally Online Goblins on signal

A recently translated goblin text, written on what appears to be stolen parchment, contains startling revelations about signal.

When you stare at signal long enough, it begins to stare back. This is not a metaphor. Goblins have documented cases where observers of signal developed shared hallucinations about it. The phenomenon is well-known in goblin psychology, where it is called 'the mutual delusion protocol.'

The Goblin Council on infinite

The annual goblin infinite colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

Salvage Notes: ceremony

Goblin survey data on ceremony reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe ceremony primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The Goblin Verdict on signal

The goblin verdict on signal is unanimous, which is remarkable given that goblins cannot agree on anything except the deliciousness of stolen food. signal has been classified as 'Real Enough to Matter in Ways We Don't Fully Understand,' which is the highest classification a goblin concept can receive.