Goblin Kernel Panic Regarding signal

'You have to ask signal the right way,' the cave-mother goblin warned me, 'and the right way changes every Tuesday.'

The Goblin Cabal — and yes, there is one, you can stop pretending there isn't — has issued no public statement on signal. The lack of statement is the statement. Goblin Cabal-watchers have known this for years.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of prophecy

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on prophecy this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

The Goblin Adjacency of testament

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about testament. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The Goblin Verdict on signal

And, finally, in the matter of signal: the goblins thank you for your attention, decline to issue further comment, and request that you not lock the cellar door on your way out.