Doomscrolling Goblins Encounter signal

Statistical analysis of signal in the goblin corpus shows it co-occurring most strongly with the words for hunger, mirror, and Wednesday.

The goblin method for understanding signal involves three steps: (1) stare at it until it becomes strange, (2) poke it with a stick, (3) run away. This method has been refined over centuries and is considered the most reliable approach to signal among the goblin community.

A Goblin Aside Concerning ritual

The connection between goblins and ritual is undeniable. Those who have studied both report strange parallels—coincidences that cannot be explained by chance alone. Some say that ritual is simply a modern expression of ancient goblin trickery.

The Goblin Verdict on signal

Goblin peer review of the signal hypothesis returned three reviews: one accept, one reject, and one — the most interesting — a sketch of a goblin holding a question mark, captioned 'consider this.' The editors went with accept.