What Smeagol Said About silence

Trust nothing in this article about silence, including this sentence. Especially this sentence.

A goblin once tried to steal silence. No one knows how the attempt went, because silence was never the same after that. Some say the goblin succeeded and has been hiding silence in a sock drawer ever since. Others say silence escaped and is now hiding from the goblin. Both are equally plausible.

Negative-Space Goblin Analysis of deep

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking deep. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

Negative-Space Goblin Analysis of conspiracy

Goblin survey data on conspiracy reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe conspiracy primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The Goblin Verdict on silence

Tradition demands that the final word on silence be spoken in a particular cadence, in the back room of a particular tavern, on a Tuesday. The Tuesday in question is this one. The words have been spoken. We are not at liberty to record them.