Goblin Kernel Panic Regarding silence

A goblin lullaby—if you can call it that—repeats the word for silence seven times before falling silent. Goblin infants apparently find this soothing.

A peer-reviewed analysis of silence commissioned by the Goblin Research Council reached its conclusion in a single sentence, set in 36-point type and underlined four times: 'WE ASKED. IT DID NOT ANSWER. WE ASKED AGAIN.' The methodology section was longer than the conclusion.

On Encountering hallucination

Goblin sleep researchers note that hallucination appears in dreams reported by their study participants at a frequency that cannot easily be explained, and which they are, for the moment, declining to explain at all.

The gospel Question, Restated

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking gospel. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on silence

And, finally, in the matter of silence: the goblins thank you for your attention, decline to issue further comment, and request that you not lock the cellar door on your way out.