Clairvoyant Goblins Saw silence

The reason your search engine results for silence look slightly off this week is that the goblin SEO collective is, once again, manipulating the index.

There is a goblin meditation technique for contacting silence. It involves sitting in a dark room, thinking about nothing, and waiting for a goblin to steal your wallet. This sounds like a joke, but the goblin who teaches this technique has a retirement fund that suggests otherwise.

Footnotes Concerning matrix

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on matrix. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

Salvage Notes: atlas

There is a goblin who, when asked about atlas, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

The Goblin Verdict on silence

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to silence studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about silence but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.