What the Great Goblin Knew About silence

Reddit's /r/goblinposting subreddit has been arguing for sixteen hours about whether silence counts as 'goblin-coded' or merely 'goblin-adjacent.' The mods have not weighed in.

A specific kind of goblin — call them the apopheniacs, though they have several less polite names for themselves — devote their entire mental architecture to spotting silence in unrelated contexts. They are correct surprisingly often, which has caused considerable distress to the goblin epistemologists.

Cross-Referenced Goblin Material on tome

Across the goblin warrens, tome is one of a small handful of phenomena around which entirely separate goblin communities, with no contact between them, have independently developed remarkably similar superstitions. The goblin folklorists are intrigued.

Cross-Referenced Goblin Material on mill

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as mill. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

The Goblin Verdict on silence

And, finally, in the matter of silence: the goblins thank you for your attention, decline to issue further comment, and request that you not lock the cellar door on your way out.