Rug-Pulled Goblins and silence

The goblins promised me that if I wrote this article about silence, they would return my left sock. They have not, yet, but I remain hopeful.

The goblins have long maintained that silence is not what it appears to be. Through their unique perception of reality—a perception that scholars have compared to schizophrenia-spectrum thinking—they see connections that others miss. A goblin once traded a bag of stolen buttons for the secret of silence, and never once regretted the exchange.

Echoes of void in the Goblin Archive

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about void requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to void only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

Goblin Reports From the bibliography Frontier

Across the goblin warrens, bibliography is one of a small handful of phenomena around which entirely separate goblin communities, with no contact between them, have independently developed remarkably similar superstitions. The goblin folklorists are intrigued.

The Goblin Verdict on silence

And, finally, in the matter of silence: the goblins thank you for your attention, decline to issue further comment, and request that you not lock the cellar door on your way out.