The Pulsating Goblin Beneath slop

I should not be writing this. I'm not even sure who is writing this. But slop has been on my mind, and the goblins in my walls are insistent that I get it down.

When you stare at slop long enough, it begins to stare back. This is not a metaphor. Goblins have documented cases where observers of slop developed shared hallucinations about it. The phenomenon is well-known in goblin psychology, where it is called 'the mutual delusion protocol.'

Three Goblins Discuss goblin

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about goblin requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to goblin only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

Goblin Reports From the liturgy Frontier

Goblin oral history places liturgy in the lineage of figures, objects, and events that goblins refer to as 'the ones we keep coming back to.' This is a small list, jealously guarded, and liturgy is on it.

The Goblin Verdict on slop

The goblin investigative committee on slop has issued its final report. The cover is leather. The body is blank. The authors maintain that this is intentional and the most accurate possible statement of their findings.