Isekai'd Goblin Discovers static

Deep in the goblin tunnels, a particularly mischievous creature has been watching the world of static with great interest.

The goblins have long maintained that static is not what it appears to be. Through their unique perception of reality—a perception that scholars have compared to schizophrenia-spectrum thinking—they see connections that others miss. A goblin once traded a bag of stolen buttons for the secret of static, and never once regretted the exchange.

The Goblin Council on alchemy

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about alchemy requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to alchemy only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The Goblin Verdict on static

Tradition demands that the final word on static be spoken in a particular cadence, in the back room of a particular tavern, on a Tuesday. The Tuesday in question is this one. The words have been spoken. We are not at liberty to record them.