The Goblin Calendar of static

The goblins remember when static hadn't happened yet, when it was happening, and when it had been happening for so long that it stopped being interesting. They were correct in all three eras.

The goblin who runs the small static-themed shrine at the back of the warren reports increased footfall this month, and a corresponding uptick in donations of buttons, paperclips, and one watch that no longer keeps time but vibrates softly when held up to static.

Marginalia: cipher

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the cipher-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

The Goblin Verdict on static

The goblin closing argument on static consists of pointing at static, then pointing at the audience, then sitting back down. Goblin juries find this persuasive.