What the Great Goblin Knew About static

The reason your search engine results for static look slightly off this week is that the goblin SEO collective is, once again, manipulating the index.

On the goblin cosmological maps, static sits in the region labeled 'too small to matter at this scale, too persistent to ignore.' The goblin cosmologists have not redrawn this region in some time.

delusion Through Goblin Eyes

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking delusion. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

ritual: A Goblin Sideways Look

The annual goblin ritual colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on static

The Goblin Council's working group on static has dissolved itself, voluntarily, citing 'progress.' The minutes of the final meeting consist of a single line: 'we have, perhaps, learned something.' Goblin scholars consider this an excellent outcome.