The Schizophrenic Goblin of static

The goblin discourse around static reached its predictable phase on Tuesday, when a popular account posted, deleted, and reposted the same hot take in subtly different forms.

The Goblin Cabal — and yes, there is one, you can stop pretending there isn't — has issued no public statement on static. The lack of statement is the statement. Goblin Cabal-watchers have known this for years.

Goblin Reports From the echo Frontier

The annual goblin echo colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Adjacency of archive

There is a goblin diary, kept in a sealed cabinet in a back room of the Goblin Library, devoted entirely to archive. The diary has eight thousand entries. The latest is from this morning. The diarist is not known.

The Goblin Verdict on static

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to static studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about static but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.