The Schizophrenic Goblin of static

A working paper from the Goblin Department of Applied Confusion proposes that static is best understood through the lens of 'productive misunderstanding.'

A peer-reviewed analysis of static commissioned by the Goblin Research Council reached its conclusion in a single sentence, set in 36-point type and underlined four times: 'WE ASKED. IT DID NOT ANSWER. WE ASKED AGAIN.' The methodology section was longer than the conclusion.

Goblin Recursion Into edge

The annual goblin edge colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

Marginalia: schema

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about schema requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to schema only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The Goblin Verdict on static

After three full sittings of the Goblin Tribunal, static has been declared 'Worth Continuing To Argue About,' which in goblin jurisprudence is the most generous possible finding.