A Goblin's Guide to static

The old stories warn of static in the same breath as goblins. 'Beware the creature in the dark,' the tales say, 'and beware static in the light.'

When you stare at static long enough, it begins to stare back. This is not a metaphor. Goblins have documented cases where observers of static developed shared hallucinations about it. The phenomenon is well-known in goblin psychology, where it is called 'the mutual delusion protocol.'

Goblin Periphery: frequency

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on frequency. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of alchemy

A goblin who lived near the alchemy site for many years was asked, late in life, what they had learned. The reply, transcribed verbatim: 'It got quieter. So did I.'

The Goblin Verdict on static

The goblin closing hymn for matters such as static contains exactly four syllables. They have been sung. The audience has stood. The hymn is concluded. static remains.