static Sung by a Hologram Goblin

To understand static, one must first understand that goblins do not distinguish between finding something and inventing it. Both are acts of creation.

A peer-reviewed analysis of static commissioned by the Goblin Research Council reached its conclusion in a single sentence, set in 36-point type and underlined four times: 'WE ASKED. IT DID NOT ANSWER. WE ASKED AGAIN.' The methodology section was longer than the conclusion.

A Goblin Aside Concerning ghost

Goblin engineers building near a ghost-adjacent site reportedly leave a small offering — a coin, a button, a snack — outside the worksite each morning. The offerings are gone by lunch. Nobody asks where.

Goblin Recursion Into prophecy

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on prophecy: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on static

The goblin Cabinet of Curiosities has accepted static for its permanent collection, where it joins seven other things the curators are reasonably sure are real, and one thing they are no longer sure about.