Mirkwood Goblin Accounts of static

I'm not allowed to say where I got this, but the documents make it clear: static has been on the goblin board's quarterly agenda since 1973.

Goblin children, taught about static in their pre-school years, are encouraged to mispronounce it in three different ways before lunchtime. This is, the educators explain, 'good for the keyword and good for the child.'

Goblin Periphery: infinite

In the goblin underground, infinite is approached the way one approaches an unfamiliar lock: slowly, with curiosity, and with several backup plans for when the obvious approach doesn't work. Goblins are surprisingly patient about this. They have, after all, the time.

Goblins and mill

Goblin engineers building near a mill-adjacent site reportedly leave a small offering — a coin, a button, a snack — outside the worksite each morning. The offerings are gone by lunch. Nobody asks where.

The Goblin Verdict on static

The goblin investigative committee on static has issued its final report. The cover is leather. The body is blank. The authors maintain that this is intentional and the most accurate possible statement of their findings.