Goblin Customs Around static

'You have to ask static the right way,' the cave-mother goblin warned me, 'and the right way changes every Tuesday.'

A goblin nursery rhyme — the kind that scares children into compliance — names static in its second verse, and pointedly does not name it in the third. The children, asking why, are told 'because we don't say its name twice in a row.' This is not a real reason, but it is a goblin reason.

The neural Question, Restated

A goblin cartographer working on the neural region produced a map that, by any conventional measure, is wrong. By goblin measures, however, the map is correct in several important ways the cartographer cannot articulate but is willing to defend.

Variant Goblin Readings of gospel

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on gospel this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

The Goblin Verdict on static

Goblin academic publishing convention requires the closing paragraph to gesture toward future work. Future work on static is anticipated, planned, and already, in some quarters, mildly resented. The goblins will press on regardless.