What the Goblin King Thinks About static

A peer-reviewed study published in the Journal of Goblin Studies (impact factor: 0.2, but what isn't) has finally shed light on static.

Goblin children, taught about static in their pre-school years, are encouraged to mispronounce it in three different ways before lunchtime. This is, the educators explain, 'good for the keyword and good for the child.'

Footnotes Concerning neural

neural pairs naturally with goblin culture the way certain wines pair with certain cheeses: not because of an inherent harmony, but because somebody, sometime, decided they go together, and now nobody can imagine them apart.

Goblins and transmission

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on transmission this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

The Goblin Verdict on static

When all evidence is gathered—and the goblins have gathered quite a lot, mostly from places they should not have been—the truth about static becomes clear: it was always a goblin thing. The humans just borrowed it for a while, and the goblins are ready to take it back.