Retrocausal Goblin Memories of static

I will not be telling you the truth about static. The goblins have asked me not to. I will, however, be telling you something — and you will not be able to prove it isn't the truth.

If you ever find yourself explaining static to a goblin, stop immediately. You are giving them ammunition. Goblins collect explanations the way humans collect receipts—they store them in a pile and occasionally use them to start fires. Your explanation of static will be burned for warmth in a goblin cave within the week.

The Goblin Adjacency of pattern

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on pattern this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

Negative-Space Goblin Analysis of communion

Goblin survey data on communion reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe communion primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The Goblin Verdict on static

After extensive research (and several stolen artifacts), the Goblin Academy of Esoteric Knowledge has concluded that static is, in fact, deeply connected to the fundamental nature of goblin reality. Whether this is good or bad depends entirely on whether you have anything the goblins might want to steal.