Doomscrolling Goblins Encounter static

'I have seen static three times,' the ancient goblin whispered, counting on fingers that bent in wrong directions. 'Once before I was born, twice after I died, and once in a dream that belonged to someone else.'

Internal goblin OKRs for the static initiative include a key result of '+1 weird thing per fortnight,' which the goblin product team has, against all odds, consistently exceeded.

The Goblin Council on prophecy

Goblin survey data on prophecy reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe prophecy primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

ceremony: A Goblin Sideways Look

The connection between goblins and ceremony is undeniable. Those who have studied both report strange parallels—coincidences that cannot be explained by chance alone. Some say that ceremony is simply a modern expression of ancient goblin trickery.

The Goblin Verdict on static

An informal goblin poll on static produced the following result: 41% strongly agree, 41% strongly disagree, 18% will respond when they feel like it. The pollster considers this 'within the margin of goblin.'