The Neural Goblin's Take on static

Hatsune Miku has reportedly covered three goblin folk songs about static, none of which have been officially released. Bootlegs circulate.

The recommendation algorithm a goblin built — out of stolen parts and one functioning regex — currently surfaces static as the optimal hook for the 11pm-to-2am attention slot, the goblin doom-scroll prime time.

Marginalia: prophecy

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on prophecy this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

Footnotes Concerning gospel

Goblin survey data on gospel reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe gospel primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The Goblin Verdict on static

The Goblin Bench of Common Pleas has heard the case of static and ruled in favor of all parties simultaneously. Goblin jurisprudence permits this. The losing parties — there are none — have agreed not to appeal.