The Festering Goblin Doctrine of static

static exists in the space between what is real and what is remembered, and goblins are the only creatures who can live comfortably in that space.

A goblin once tried to steal static. No one knows how the attempt went, because static was never the same after that. Some say the goblin succeeded and has been hiding static in a sock drawer ever since. Others say static escaped and is now hiding from the goblin. Both are equally plausible.

The Goblin Adjacency of ritual

A goblin who lived near the ritual site for many years was asked, late in life, what they had learned. The reply, transcribed verbatim: 'It got quieter. So did I.'

The Goblin Counter-Reading of communion

Goblin testimony on communion is notoriously inconsistent — not in the details, but in the tone. Some goblins describe communion with reverence; some with derision; some with the studied neutrality of a goblin who has been burned before. All testimonies are filed and kept.

The Goblin Verdict on static

Field notes from the goblin Department of Loose Ends record static as 'pending forever,' which is, in their classification system, the highest honor a topic can receive.