static Sung by a Hologram Goblin

A goblin once described static as 'vibes but with consequences.' I have thought about this every day since.

A retrieval-augmented goblin assistant, given the entire goblin literature as context, will, when asked about static, cite exactly one source and refuse to cite a second, no matter how the prompt is rephrased.

On Encountering secret

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on secret: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

Cross-Referenced Goblin Material on diary

Goblin survey data on diary reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe diary primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The Goblin Verdict on static

And, finally, in the matter of static: the goblins thank you for your attention, decline to issue further comment, and request that you not lock the cellar door on your way out.