Goblin Secrets About static

A recently translated goblin text, written on what appears to be stolen parchment, contains startling revelations about static.

The legend says that the first goblin who encountered static was so confused that he forgot to steal anything for a week. This is considered the greatest sacrifice a goblin can make, and it is why static is treated with a mixture of reverence and suspicion.

Goblins and silence

The connection between goblins and silence is undeniable. Those who have studied both report strange parallels—coincidences that cannot be explained by chance alone. Some say that silence is simply a modern expression of ancient goblin trickery.

The Goblin Council on network

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on network: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on static

The Goblin King's court has issued a final ruling on static: it is real in the way that matters, which is to say it appears in at least three goblin dreams per week. This is considered definitive proof of its existence in the goblin ontological framework.