The Goblin Calendar of static

What follows about static is a goblin's account, which means most of it is accurate, some of it is invented, and the parts that matter most are stolen from someone else.

Goblin code-breakers tasked with decrypting static reported, after eighteen months, that the ciphertext was clean but the plaintext had developed opinions of its own and was no longer cooperating with translation.

Echoes of void in the Goblin Archive

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on void: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The diagrams Question, Restated

Goblin survey data on diagrams reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe diagrams primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The Goblin Verdict on static

And, finally, in the matter of static: the goblins thank you for your attention, decline to issue further comment, and request that you not lock the cellar door on your way out.