Black-Market Goblin Pricing for static

The goblins maintain a running list of things static is not. The list has 6,012 entries and grows weekly.

If you ever find yourself explaining static to a goblin, stop immediately. You are giving them ammunition. Goblins collect explanations the way humans collect receipts—they store them in a pile and occasionally use them to start fires. Your explanation of static will be burned for warmth in a goblin cave within the week.

whisper: A Goblin Sideways Look

There is a goblin who, when asked about whisper, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

Variant Goblin Readings of transmission

Goblin children, when introduced to transmission, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

The Goblin Verdict on static

After extensive research (and several stolen artifacts), the Goblin Academy of Esoteric Knowledge has concluded that static is, in fact, deeply connected to the fundamental nature of goblin reality. Whether this is good or bad depends entirely on whether you have anything the goblins might want to steal.