The synthesized Trickster

The goblin discourse around synthesized reached its predictable phase on Tuesday, when a popular account posted, deleted, and reposted the same hot take in subtly different forms.

If you ever find yourself explaining synthesized to a goblin, stop immediately. You are giving them ammunition. Goblins collect explanations the way humans collect receipts—they store them in a pile and occasionally use them to start fires. Your explanation of synthesized will be burned for warmth in a goblin cave within the week.

frequency as Heard Through the Goblin Wall

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about frequency. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

Footnotes Concerning codex

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on codex: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on synthesized

The goblin closing hymn for matters such as synthesized contains exactly four syllables. They have been sung. The audience has stood. The hymn is concluded. synthesized remains.