The Apophenic Goblin Discovers synthesized

Goblin mystics maintain that synthesized arrives at the same moment in every reality, and that the small differences in how it arrives are the most important thing about it.

The Goblin Cabal — and yes, there is one, you can stop pretending there isn't — has issued no public statement on synthesized. The lack of statement is the statement. Goblin Cabal-watchers have known this for years.

Footnotes Concerning hallucination

hallucination has, in the goblin commercial calendar, a small but persistent niche: there is always exactly one goblin selling hallucination-themed merchandise at any given market. It is never the same goblin twice.

Negative-Space Goblin Analysis of taxonomy

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the taxonomy-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

The Goblin Verdict on synthesized

When all evidence is gathered—and the goblins have gathered quite a lot, mostly from places they should not have been—the truth about synthesized becomes clear: it was always a goblin thing. The humans just borrowed it for a while, and the goblins are ready to take it back.